Relationships and Helium Lights?

26 Nov

Talking about relationships, a friend of mine suggested that (some relationships) can be compared to a light bulb, helium light to be specific. Because helium lights take a very long time to turn on but the end result is intense, bright light. So, in the words of my friend “Sometimes you just have to wait for the light to get heated and the light will come on its own.”

That reminded me of another blog post I had read somewhere about Hope and Delusion. For one to wait – maybe even a whole lifetime without any results – is that having hope or being deluded? Hopelesness is not a characteristic of a believer, as we’re urged to remain patient and to never let go of hope. But on the other hand, waiting a lifetime for a relationship to bloom, when it may not even bud.. may or may not be delusion but is a waste of life.

How do you know though, whether to wait or move on? How do you really separate hope from delusion?

11 Responses to “Relationships and Helium Lights?”

  1. musaafirah November 28, 2006 at 1:39 am #

    I couldn’t have expressed it better myself.

    I am still struggling with the realization that a string or implication of hope in these matters may not be worth pursuing & may in fact be delusion.

    Is the wait that we are putting ourselves through one that is done selfishly or selflessly? I think it’s worth assessing one’s daily life and routine, to determine whether or not the factor of ‘having hope’ is helping or harming us and our goals.

    Either our hope will serve as our motivation and help our ability to focus, or we will find ourselves swimming in delusion when the ‘pull of what we can’t give up takes hold’ and sorrow sinks in again.

    I still think if the person we care about is pious, then we can’t lose insha’Allah, even if we do lose the chance to end the wait in this life. For Imam al-Shafi’i said, “I love the pious even though I am not from them” in reference to the hadeeth that we are resurrected with those whom we love.

    Having said that, I view this as the appropriate time to conclude with saying: I love you Umm Khawlah!

  2. Umm siraaj November 28, 2006 at 5:18 am #

    Mashaa’Allah thats beautiful said. and duaa is your weapon-use it in every situatuin.. sometimes you realize quickly, othertimes you wait a long time and regret in the end.

    BarakAllaahu feekunna ya akhawaat

  3. Umm Khawla November 29, 2006 at 11:05 pm #

    Musaafirah, I love you more : )

    You know, sometimes when I think about it I almost *decide* to just let things flow the way they’re going. You can’t really change the direction of the wind.. can you? But at the same time, like you said if its someone pious then maybe its worth the wait. Allaahu a`lam. May He do what is best for us, aameen.

    The best course to take would be to dedicate one’s life to helping others. That way you’re not wasting your time even if you’re waiting. Because towards the end, your deeds are what actually matter. Not people. They’re simply the “means” to help you do good (or bad in some cases).

    Umm Siraaj – Hayyaakillaah ukhtee : ) Do we know each other?

  4. Umm Siraaj November 30, 2006 at 5:45 pm #

    uhm yeah, we used to know eachother u prob forgot about me…Wallaahu A3lam
    but you’ve helped me once when things werent really good and you introduced a book to me that changed me a lot..ive mentioned this to you once , its a lil hint 😉

    and musaafira ur a cutie ma sha Allah 😉

  5. Umm Khawla November 30, 2006 at 7:00 pm #

    Umm Siraaj! Don’t keep me in the dark : (

    I have a very bad memory, come on. Email me: al _ mujtahidah at gawab dot com

  6. musaafirah December 1, 2006 at 10:44 pm #

    Umm Khawla I agree with you about deciding to let things flow as they are. And the best way to ensure time is spent wisely even if one decides to wait would be- yes – a life dedicated to helping others. I remember a Shaykh once saying, if you want to remove pride and selfishness from your heart, then serve the people. And no doubt, when waiting for something we want, it can be very easy for the heart to cling to hope for selfish reasons, to grieve selfishly, to stray from the path of selflessness…

    In addition, I’d like to clarify something I’d said in my initial comment…

    “Loving the pious” doesn’t necessarily mean that the wait is worth it. Loving the pious, means that you don’t have to feel guilty for loving them or wanting to wait for them…but if you choose to move on and not wait for a reunion in the Dunya, you’ll still gain (insha’Allah!) because if your love for the pious was sincere, then you might be resurrected along with them in al-Akhirah.

    Make it a win-win situation (bi idhnillah).

  7. Umm Khawla December 3, 2006 at 2:50 am #

    Yup, you’re right maashaa’Allaah.

    : )

  8. ukhtun December 3, 2006 at 8:52 pm #

    salam alekum

    are we talking about friendship,or a future spouse? = )

  9. Umm Khawla December 4, 2006 at 12:17 am #

    wa`alaykum assalaam wa rahmatullaah,

    Applies to both : )

  10. Umm siraaj December 10, 2006 at 4:43 pm #

    Assalaamu aleykum sis
    i just emailed u =)

  11. Umm Khawla December 10, 2006 at 4:53 pm #

    wa`alaykum assalaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh,

    Got it habibtee : )

    Much wuw (L)

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