Beauty in simplicity?

16 Dec

Someone recently asked me for an answer to this question: “When you see another woman, scantily dressed, getting all the attention and looks and whatever, dont you feel envious..?” And my first reaction was, “Hell no.” I would envy a sister walking on the street completely covered, head to toe and with her head high, yet humble. But never a woman who’s stared at. There’s nothing good about being looked at up and down and viewed as a piece of meat. Thats just totally sick and this is partly the reason why there’s so much corruption in these societies, including “Muslim” societies. I’m sure most sisters feel that way, don’t you guys?

I remember a couple years ago in highschool, I’d see sisters who’d come to school wearing jilbaabs and then take them off, put them away in their lockers. And they put so much effort into “looking good”. I’ve always thought there’s beauty in simplicity. And I strongly believe that. It holds true not only for women but also for men.

This makes me wonder if lust is the only thing on a man’s mind when he sees a woman. That makes me shudder.. Perhaps not all, but some are like that.

10 Responses to “Beauty in simplicity?”

  1. sheryza December 18, 2006 at 2:40 pm #

    Salams dear sister! love your blog mashallah.

    As for this post though I know how disturbing this lust thing is. your right most men are lustful! unfortunaley this is from shaitan and his way of keeping the men from the good and showing them the way of this dunya. making it diamonds and pearls for them.

    beauty has become and enigma for all. i read an article in the national geographic magazine on this and how no matter where you go, what you do outer beauty will always be there and has become a priority on peoples minds. notice men dont go out with their wives in hijab too even though they want their wives to wear it…why? because they have some where in their twisted minds that they cant be seen with someone like this she doesnt look like the trophy wife to be out with. i can give you many examples…bulimia, anorexia, etc. you see the extremes the girls take these days. and now too the boys. its really sad indeed. i cringe when i see things like this.

  2. Umm Khawla December 24, 2006 at 1:16 pm #

    “i read an article in the national geographic magazine on this and how no matter where you go, what you do outer beauty will always be there and has become a priority on peoples minds.”

    Tell me about it.

  3. UmmNour December 26, 2006 at 1:49 am #

    “When you see another woman, scantily dressed, getting all the attention and looks and whatever, dont you feel envious..?” ”

    I do get asked that question a lot. This was never a problem for me, until my husband left and I was surrounded by sisters who looked so pretty, and I on the other hand, looked out of place. SubhanAllah I really did struggle with this but allhumdulilah once you come to realize why you are doing what you are doing, and “looking all pretty” isn’t everything, you start to really value hijab. And iI also realized that surrounding really affects your thinking. When I am surrounded by sisters who cover themselves modestly, subhanAllah , I drive to be like them. But i’m surrounded by sisters who make me look bland, I get depressed. So you always have to be careful who you are around.

  4. Black Lion December 27, 2006 at 5:11 pm #

    Salaam alykum, sisters.
    Normally, I say very little to sisters on their blogs except the basic greetings and encouragement. Not out of hate, but to be unintrusive to women. But this post is a deep topic, and I found it by Umm Khawla standing up for her religion on Muslim Unity’s blog, who said that Christmas is for everyone. Umm Khawla stood up for Allah’s religion and told a non-Muslim the truth, that Muslim Unity was kissing up to Christians and doing them injustice by misrepresenting Islam. Even though Muslim Unity may have really not been taught any better, Umm Khawla was still impressive.
    So, I saw her blog and this post. I’m a man myself, and I agree with Sheryza’s implication that most men are lustful. But she forgot to mention that most women are, too. People of both sexes who have reached puberty are lustful generally. Men and women might be different, but we have lust in common, otherwise most sex would be rape, and that would imply that Allah either made a mistake or that he decreed oppression.
    What’s true about men is that we’re never encouraged to be shy or even chaste, just as women are aren’t encouraged to be modest. We’re both acting as we’re encouraged to. Women dress up to get men’s attention, but they don’t want most of the men that look at them. Men are encouraged to chase after attractive women as opposed to showing some self-respect and dignity around them, which makes the men unattractive to the women they seek.
    To those of you who observe modesty, I encourage and applaud you. May Allah reward you with the best. My wife wears hijab and dresses modestly in public, and she’s respected for it. But many Muslim women make two mistakes with men that are relevant to this topic. 1 is that they accuse men of being worse than women as opposed to casting blame on men and women alike for each other’s heart breaks. 2 is that many Muslim women don’t show enough interest in getting married and they show little desire to their husbands when they are married. Modesty is for the public, but not for your spouses. What right do I have to get offended by my wife making a pass at me or treating me like a piece of meat to satisfy her lust? That’s her right over me! And that goes both ways.
    If any of you are good about showing your deisres to your husbands, then I’m not addressing you and don’t want you to feel offended. If any of you aren’t good about that or you blame men for liking women enough to possibly get married one day, then still don’t get offended. Just keep that weakness to yourselves, and correct it. Whoever expresses discontent with what I’m saying, I’ll consider to be the one I was addressing and that exposed herself to the others as such.
    I merely mean to say 3 things in summary. 1, I applaud you for your modesty for the sake of Allah. 2, show your desires to your husbands as that’s your right, and show an interest in marriage if you’re not married and would like to be. You can even send your walis to the man of your choice, and most of you know this better then me. 3, never blame men for their interest in women itself, but rather encourage marriage for them. It’s the immodesty and seeking of fornication of men that’s blameworthy. If a man showed no interest in women, even if he’s Muslim, he’d be labeled a homosexual by someone and I know from my former life that can stop a heterosexual from ever getting married.
    I wish you all the best, and Umm Nour, I wish you could have been spared the experience of a husband that left.

  5. Aasiyah December 27, 2006 at 11:35 pm #

    Assalam Alaikm wr wb

    SubhanAllah what an exciting post hun. I’d just like to say first off, Alhamdulillah– for the hidaya Allah ‘Azza wa Jall has bestowed upon me and all those that embark on this beautiful perfected Deen of Islam.

    Now, in terms of hijab, i’d have to say that women-in-denial are (mainly) to blame for why many men are so shameless. We have already been created attractive, whether one find it externally or internally, and thus feel inclined towards one another by nature, even when lowering the gaze (thus the need to get married ASAP!). Women who dress to “impress” do not make the situation any easier for men or other women. The man is aroused, the woman is disrespected. If a woman with paint tight clothes walks by my husband, I would sure want to beat her with my bare hands till her body swells, for the chaos she has caused, whether my husband be practicing and lower his gaze disgusted, or be he non-practicing and stare at her with googly eyes forgetting my existence.

    Get jealous? hahahahaha! Kaafirs (and unthankful Muslims, yes i know contradictory, but many of us can find ourselves in this contradiction) are hilarious! It’s this mentality of “getting jealous” that diseases the soul. This is a form of shirk. If you believe that you are worht getting jealous over, or if you find someone you are jealous of, you claim them to be superior. Thus you associate partners with Allah ‘Azza wa Jall…

    Yea one might say, all they do is consider another person gorgeous, but this over-awe of the person, or this desire in a person to want others obsessing over them) is like saying “look, here’s someone (else) worth worshipping.” This is the reason why all these objectified celebrities are called “idols” for the young girls. Imagine the nerve!? To know and admit and openly worship celebrities? Other human beings? And then the masses to unquestioningly follow in their footsteps? Astaghfurullah! Talk about times of Jaahiliyyah! May Allah ‘Azza wa Jall protect us from this state of wickedness that will never be forgiven (Allahu Alam)

    One last thing, I wish all sisters wore NiQab, it helps cut off all the insecurities and appreciate one’s own natural beauty Allah ‘Azza wa Jall has gifted each one of us with. SubhanAllah x3

  6. Hijabi Apprentice December 28, 2006 at 5:08 pm #

    Asalaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

    Wow interesting discussion here. I have not been jealous of the non-modest dressing women but I have had felt “unattractive” at times. It’s usually a time when I am feeling unattractive and am wearing a unflattering abaya and khimar when some man will catcall or propose on the spot! Go figure! I think we all have times where we feel un-pretty and times we feel fabulous and I think it may be even more so for us hijabis.

    ma’a salaamah,

    ha

  7. Aasiyah December 29, 2006 at 4:56 am #

    walaikm asalam wr wb

    really? i learned its the other way around. the more you show, the less attractive u feel even when u are extremely done… and u may be getting attention, it’s not making u feel any more complete, maybe gassed up, but empty

  8. Umm Khawla January 4, 2007 at 2:22 am #

    But we don’t need to worry about feeling unattractive or not pretty.. unless we’re married, then thats different. But even when you’re married, your beauty is only for your husband to see and adore. And no one else. So it wouldn’t bother me in the least bit if I dont get any attention from others. I’d rather thank Allaah for protecting me from lustful eyes.. ’cause attention from someone other than your husband is not “good” attention.. wAllaahu a`lam.

  9. Aasiyah January 5, 2007 at 2:44 am #

    assalam alaikm wr wb

    “But we don’t need to worry about feeling unattractive or not pretty.. unless we’re married… ’cause attention from someone other than your husband is not “good” attention”

    hehe yes, sinlge ladies tend to think there’s a void if they dont get attention. the only void is the husband.

    x3

  10. pashtana January 22, 2007 at 1:49 pm #

    as’salam alykom wr wbt

    Although I dont live in west, and people are more used to some ladies being covered others not , there is one point which I reallt try to emphasize, being unattractive in public does not mean being so in front of muslim sisters and mahrams.

    cant a sister be attractive at times and modest at times? what I mean is let us we “the covered muslimas” show the others that yes we do cover ourselves from non-mahram men, but it doenst mean in any way that we dont know how to dress well. or have a good haircut..like I see many ladies who are niqabis or hijabi, they dont even have the desire to look “good” if not attractive even at home..why is that so? Usually people get the idea of “the hijabis dont know how to dress well or somthing like that” thats what I really try to show, we can be more attractive then any of the others , know how to dress better than even the others..but when it comes to non mahram its ..different!! ” thats how I feel when there is a gathering in a hijabi sisters house, I feel like couldnt you be a better representitive !! in this way you wouldnt even have the feeling of ” o my God am not attractive ” in fact you will have the feeling of ” al7amdolillah that Allah has given me modesty and attractiveness”

    mm something like that🙂
    fi aman Allah
    🙂

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