Its so amazing how Allaah sends us subtle signs with lessons so deep but all it requires is an inquisitive and contemplative mind. Few days ago, I was in bed, trying my best to cope with physical pain that was simply indescribable. With weeks of going through this ordeal, I was on the verge of a breakdown but I bit my lip and silently prayed for cleansing of my soul through this test. A little while later, I was distracted by the sound of buzzing. It was coming from my window. I had left the window open just enough to be able to hear rain that had been pouring all night. It somehow helped me through the exhaustion I feel the entire night. When I looked from beneath the blinds, I saw a butterfly that was trapped. The poor thing had been trying to escape from the tiny opening between the glass window and the net behind it. I snapped a quick picture of it (thanks to my gorgeous new Samsung Galaxy S II) before I set it free.
Everything happens for a reason. Not a single leaf falls without purpose. And so when I looked at the picture of this beautiful butterfly, I was reminded of the stages and toils it has to go through simply to turn into this wondrous beauty.
And this is how the trials in life transform us: they strengthen us and mold us into better, beautiful, courageous, individuals.
If physical pain – having experienced nothing like this before – has taught me anything, its patience and strength. Both come from Allaah alone. If He has put us in the middle of a storm, He will most certainly deliver us from it and that’s guaranteed. The Prophets, their companions and those who came after them (may Allaah unite us with them in Jannah) all went through various forms of pain, but they all came out of it stronger and bi ‘idhnillaah purer in the sight of Allaah. They held on tightly when it was the hardest, and that’s all Allaah required of them.
Gail Sheehy, an American journalist said: “With each passage of human growth we must shed a protective structure. We are left exposed and vulnerable – but also yeasty and embryonic again, capable of stretching in ways we hadn’t known before.”
I can only hope that this test for me is as the process of molting (skin shedding) is for a butterfly and that I come out of this as strong as the butterfly despite its apparent fragility.
❁ طالبة الجنان ❁ 
May Allah put ease in all your affairs and make your worldly suffering a source of purification.
Ameen
Aameen, jazakAllaahu khayran.
I, too, am going through, and have been going through indescribable pain for the past 8 years. Sadly, from every angle; social, physiological, mental, physical, emotional, psychological, and the physiological makes everything unbearable for me.
Many times, I swear, I am about to break up and shatter within a millisecond. I fret, looking around, and then, land upon some writings… like yours. And this is what gives me courage, solace, peace, patience, contentedness, and happiness. It all becomes nothing again, and I see sense again.
Or Allaah relieves me from the extreme unbearable states and that makes me realize the mercy I’m being given, and the ayah فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
So, jazak’illaah khairan no doubt.
I just want to add; some of your writings (I just skimmed a few) scream oceans full of Neelum-cool waters of imaan to me, and it’s the biggest doze of fresh, cool air to my lungs. A massive joy to see.
I must say, consider me outdated or extreme, but I don’t tend to follow or reply to female writings on the net, except this time, I felt obliged to say something for God’s sake.
I ask Allaah Subahanhu to grant you what is best for you, make it easy on you, and boundless mercy, and make you of the best Muslimah – hidden and open.
May Allaah grant you relief and ease your pain, aameen.
I’ve found so much comfort in Qur’aan and I pray that you’re finding it too insha’Allaah.